Dark Paradise
by Emo Owl
Summary: What if Gisele wasn't the only one whose life was cut short when they took on Shaw? Companion to Complications (Movie Version) [spoilers]. Dark Drabble. HanXOC.


**AN: If you haven't read Complications, you will probably be confused. The passages in italics are either memories or daydreams of what could have happened.**

**Z**

**Loving you forever, can't be wrong**

**Even though you're not here, won't move on **

**Z**

The pain was unbearable. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I sat in my chair and sobbed into my hands as the long line of mourners passed me, patting my shoulder, and offering empty words. The next day at the actual funeral I did the same thing.

The people who knew him filed out one by one until I was the only one left still beside the grave. I stayed there for so long Mia eventually came to pull me out of the way so they could remove the chairs they set up from his service.

Z

_ "Han, I don't know if I can do this." I admitted softly as I looked back at him from halfway down the line of graves. _

_ Despite his distance, he heard me loud and clear and I was able to see his bright smile in answer. _

_ "It's your dad, and your brother and sister. They understand." He answered comfortingly. A tear escaped and trailed down my cheek. _

_ "Come with me." I reached out a hand for him and he immediately walked toward me._

_ His big, warm hand enveloped my own and he leaned down and gave me a quick peck on the temple. He swung our hands between us leisurely as we walked together to the fresh grave in the middle of the row and the two older ones next to it: Hanna, Brent, and my dad, Carlos. The flowers on Hanna's grave were fresh, as were the bouquets on my dad and Brent's grave. Someone in Hanna's family had paid respects to all three of them._

_ I felt a few more tears tickle out, but I ignored them. I stood there like that a long time, paying my last respects to my family; silently asking forgiveness for not being there for the funerals. _

_ "I never thought I would be standing here like this." I eventually told Han softly. "I never thought I would be back in the US." _

_ "How do you feel now that you are here?" He asked me he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. _

_ "I feel peaceful. Like everything's come to a close and I'm okay with it. Thank you for taking me here." _

_ His face broke into a pleasant almost smile. _

**Z**

**And there's no remedy for memory,**

**Your face is like a melody,**

**It won't leave my head**

**Your soul is haunting me and telling me**

**That everything is fine**

**Z**

I lost the baby a month after we buried him. The stress of the job and the losing him and Hanna was way too much for my body. I felt so broken and useless as I lay in the hospital bed with Miles sitting next to me.

Mia came to visit. She cried for me, but I couldn't bring myself to shed any more tears. I was too tired of crying.

"You'll be okay, Ellie." She insisted.

"How?" I asked her. "I don't know where to go from this."

"We'll figure it out."

Z

_ Han smiled when he held his baby girl for the first time ever. She looked so tiny and fragile in his big hands. All of the fear and apprehension of being a father had melted from his face and were replaced with a bright, real smile. _

_ "Still worried about boys coming to the door when she's sixteen?" I cut in. _

_ "Shut up and don't ruin this." He commanded without looking away from our little girl. His smile never dropped. _

_ Everyone in the room looked a little startled by our banter, but I just laughed. _

**Z**

**Everytime I close my eyes**

**It's like a dark paradise**

**No one compares to you**

**I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side**

**Z**

The lights of Christmas twinkled brightly on the street outside of the restaurant windows. Everything held a festive tone. People were everywhere carrying shopping bags and surrounded by family members.

"It's such a beautiful Christmas Eve." My best friend Desi gave me his signature lopsided smirk as he followed my gaze out the window. The way he was sitting with his menu held loosely in one hand and his other hand propped up under his angular chin made him look like a male model in a menswear ad. His tiny bit of scruff was kind of helping the look.

"It is." I answered blankly as my gaze left his and travelled across the other patrons of the high end restaurant.

I heard silverware crash onto a plate behind me followed by someone shrieking "Yes!" and "I love you!" over and over again. The rest of the people turned around to look and applaud the happy couple. Desi laughed slightly as the happy spirit in the place got a little infectious. When he realized I wasn't sharing in the joy, he reached a hand across the table and grabbed my hand, offering me a sad smile as he did it.

Z

_ "Look what I found." I announced as I pulled a small box out of my purse with an extremely unnecessary flourish. _

_ "What is it?" Han asked with a smile as he shifted in his hospital bed, trying not to put any weight on his hip or bad thigh. He winced as he hit a sore spot. _

_ "It's a cupcake." I opened the box and let him look at the single red velvet cupcake that had a poinsettia on the top made out of cream cheese icing. _

_ With his bills piling up, I couldn't really afford much else. Colombia hadn't exactly been kind to us in the very beginning business wise. We'd have to make up for a skinny first Christmas with a fat second one if we lasted that long together._

_ Careful not to pull on his IV tubing, he reached out and took the box from me. _

_ "You know red velvet is my favorite type of cupcake, right?" He asked with a grin as he looked the fancy icing over and started gently pulling it out of its carrier._

_ "Is it really?" I answered in shock._

_ "It is now." He replied smoothly. _

_ "Are you being sappy? If you are, I'm going to have to ask for half of that back." I teased him. He chuckled. _

_ "Merry Christmas." He pulled the cupcake in half and offered me one of them. I almost protested because I didn't want him sharing his present with me, but I ended up accepting it without protest._

_ "Merry Christmas." I grinned back. _

**Z**

**All my friends ask me why I stay strong**

**Tell 'em when you find true love it lives on**

**Ahhh, that's why I stay here**

**Z**

"This is the happiest day of my life." Desi grinned down at me as he twirled me around.

My big white skirt was flying around my legs dramatically as we moved, until we got to close and it started to tangle between his legs. Rather than making snarky comments on the amount of fabric, he just ignored it and instead chose to comment how beautiful I looked in it.

Part of me was happy about this day. Desi was a good man. He really was the kind of guy you wanted to pick as a partner for the rest of your life. We were having a beautiful wedding filled with everyone we cared about including my dad's old crew and Dom's crew. Everyone I knew was telling us how they had seen us together for years and were so excited that it was finally happening.

Something about it just felt wrong.

I smiled and shook hands and played nice with everyone that came by, and they all believed it; all except one. Desi left my side for the first time that night to use to the bathroom, and Dom pulled me aside down a hallway. He asked me how I was really feeling. I smiled at him and tried to lie, but what I meant to say wouldn't come out. Instead I blurted "Does the pain ever stop? It's been two years and I hurt every day."

Dom pressed his lips together as he considered how to answer.

"You never heal when you lose half of yourself, but you learn to carry on."

Z

_ "You know we could run away together. Keep things simple; just us, the preacher, and the ring bearer on a beach in Mexico." I whispered mischievously at the crack in the door. I heard a chuckle from the other side._

_ "And that's almost the exact statement that led to us having a second ceremony with the family present." His voice answered from behind the door. "And the ring bearer." He added after a pause. _

_ I laughed as I bounced the baby further up on my hip and opened the door fully. He glanced over at me in amusement as he continued buttoning his white shirt. _

_ "The ring bearer happened before the wedding—er, elopement, smart ass." I shot back as I took a seat on the couch, struggling to get all the way on the seat with my dress. _

_ "Oh, yes. How could I forget that timing? Don't you know it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?" He asked jokingly. _

_ Our son started smile and flap his arms so Han would pick him up. Han complied and the baby squealed happily at being in his father's arms. _

_ "He missed his daddy." I smiled at my two boys as I watched them interact together. _

_ "Happy first anniversary." Han murmured as he sat down next to me on the couch and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Our son squealed again._

_ "You think daddy's holding out, don't you?" I cooed as I ticked his belly and made him make more happy baby noises. Han rolled his eyes, but leaned in and kissed me on the lips with the baby between us._

**Z**

**There's no relief, I see you in my sleep**

**And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me**

**There's no release, I feel you in my dreams**

**Telling me I'm fine**

**Z**

"You know I don't understand how these criminals are still getting away with it. I mean, just think of the technology we have available in the crime labs now! It's only a matter of time until they are brought to justice and I hope they get the harshest sentence possible." Desi ranted from behind his newspaper at the kitchen table. The headline said something about a group of bank robbers striking again or something.

I let the fork I was using to scramble eggs with drop into the pan as the memories of being part of Dom's crew came flooding back. The glory days of my life. The days when I wasn't pretty much a housewife. I'd kill to have those back.

"Baby, you're burning the eggs." He called from across the room.

"Wha—" Finally the burnt smell hit my nose I yanked the skillet off the stove and dropped it into the sink. "Sorry. Caffeine hasn't kicked in."

"I wish you wouldn't drink so many sodas. Coffee's better for you than all that sugar. I don't understand why you won't drink it." He nagged as he disappeared back behind his paper.

Z

_"Look. I found bottled Coke." Han stated as he sat down on the worn out leather couch on the factory floor. _

_ "You did." I took it from him with a smile. Bottled Coke was my favorite for some reason. He pulled his keys out and popped the top off for me. "What do you think about the cameras?"_

_ I gestured across the factory floor to the four cameras set up on our makeshift track. His eyes followed my hands as he frowned in thought._

_ "That's a tiny window." He answered honestly._

_ "It's a lot of precise drifting, though. That's what you are really good at." He accepted the praise with a small nod. _

_ "So taking on the biggest power in Brazil doesn't bother you?" He asked as he looked at me out of the corner of his eye, trying to gauge my reaction. _

_ "I've spent my whole life hearing stories of my dad's crew. I never thought I'd have the opportunity to pull a job like this myself, but I'm really glad I did." I replied after a swig of my Coke. _

_ He smirked as he grabbed the glass bottle out of my hand, stealing a sip. _

_ "Then I hope you never try to live a legal, quiet life."_

_ "Never." I told him as I grabbed my bottle back. "I'll be boosting cars when I'm on a walker. I'd never be happy otherwise." _

**Z**

**Everytime I close my eyes**

**It's like a dark paradise**

**No one compares to you**

**I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side**

**Z**

"I think I believe in soul mates." I told Dom as I sat down next to him in the sand without greeting or explanation. His head jerked around in surprise at hearing my voice. Recovering from his shock, he draped a heavy arm across my shoulders.

He looked older than he did the last time I dropped by to visit. The lines in his forehead and around his eyes were getting deeper and more noticeable. I was looking older too.

"I do too." He finally answered as he went back to staring at the ocean.

"I've never loved anyone else; not really." I continued as the tears started to trickle.

I had just spent dinner with the rest of the team reminiscing. By now it should be easy to talk about everything that happened on that last job and old memories, but it still hurt. Dom had been working late and was kind of in the dog house with Letty so he was staying working late. When I realized he wasn't at the shop, I decided to try the beach that kept coming up in some of the team's stories. I wasn't really surprised when I found him there.

"You do. You love your husband, but it's not the same love." Dom tried to explain. I knew out of everyone he would understand the most; he had lost Letty and lived with Elena for a long time. Mia would try to send me to counseling.

"I feel like I'm cheating on him with the dead." I stated bluntly. Dom glanced over at me in the dark.

"You'll see him again, Ellie. Just not in this lifetime."

Z

_ "I, Eliana Marisol Gonzalez- Delgado, take you, Han Solo," He shot me playful glare that confused the priest. "to be my husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, and to cherish you from this day forward until death do us part." _

_ "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The priest announced. Before he was even finished, we were kissing. _

_ There was so much beauty in the simplicity of our elopement. There were no distractions; just us. It was one of my favorite memories of us together. We were starting a new chapter of our life together. We were so happy._

_ If only death hadn't parted us so soon. _

**AN: Sorry. I go morbid when I get stressed. Song is Dark Paradise by Lana Del Ray. The drabble may be super confusing, but it's something that's been in my head for a long time. **


End file.
